Tips on Taoist Tantra
Knowing the psycho-sensual secrets of touch helps you become a better lover, however good you are already.
Ancient Taoists believed that to understand the business of Life you need to examine the business of where Life starts and where Life ends…the business of the bedchamber. Combining the study of sex with medicine they discovered certain pressure-points stimulate and sustain sexual desire.
Taoist Tantra can help you can become a more effective Lover. You can please your partner and please yourself. The act itself is natural. You know what to do. It is the moments leading up to the act which make it more or less pleasurable. Using the secrets of these points makes for longer and more pleasurable sexual encounters. Peak moments can be prolonged beyond bliss, into ecstasy.
Like cooking a Chinese meal, preparation is the key.
Tip 1 Prepare your space
Set things out to please all the senses, dress in loose light clothing, soft fabrics of red, pink and purple: sarongs don’t get in the way, they let you reach all the love-points, and come off easily.
Candlelight and soft music yes, phones no: off or silent, rings on mute.
Fragrances of roses, musk and ylang ylang.
Aphrodisiac titbits to tantalise taste buds:
Chocolate, Strawberries and Bananas or Cucumbers dipped in Clove Honey, Mangos, Peaches, Plums and Cherries.
Try using each other as a plate.
If you like salads: celery, mushrooms, red peppers, spinach, tomatoes and watercress.
And to drink? Try Mead, a mildly alcoholic bevvy made from honey. In Anglo-Saxon England newly-weds retired for a moon-month to a flowery bower to live on nothing but Love and Mead: thus the word “honeymoon” – honag monath.
Make your bower beautiful, enticing, a place for pleasure.
Feng shui your love-life: Make space around your love-nest, the mat on which you will create your palms of pleasure.
If using a bed, let it be firm: flaccididity is no help inside or out.
Have a picture of your beloved in the south-west corner and a green plant in the East.
Tip 2 Prepare your Partner
Dedicate your practice to Great Spirit of the Tao and Mother Earth, who gave us pleasure as a key to open the gate to Bliss, on the path to Ecstasy.
Start with a look, a gaze in each other’s eyes. Mind follows Eye and Hand follows Mind.
Your body is a landscape of hills and valleys, woodland glades,
caves of delight, pastures of pleasure, stirred by breezes of bliss,
fed by rivers of desire, watered by clouds and rain of ecstasy.
Nature has gifted us with eyes to see these wonders,
ears to hear the sounds of love,
noses to scent the fragrance of passion,
tongues to taste the fruits of desire,
lips to kiss,
and hands to touch.
Prepare your Lover by first lightly tapping or patting up and down the body. Tapping wakes up the nerves.
How do you like to be woken up?
Tap very gently on softer areas such as the belly and face, and not at all on breasts and genitals. Ask your Lover how it feels: would they like a drum solo in some places - such as the sacrum and shoulder-blades, or would they prefer tippy-toe tap?
And when you have tapped and rubbed, its time to tease: long languorous strokes the length of the whole body, brushing close by your lover’s sex, using your hands to hint at what’s ahead.
Tip 3 Prepare your Self
Allow your Lover to watch and to copy as you massage yourself in a very specific way, holding each other’s gaze the whole time.
Sit facing each other, not touching, cross-legged if comfortable or in chairs if not.
Begin the self-massage of the Nine Flowers by placing the tips of your fingers on your nipples and gently moving the skin over the flesh in a spiralling movement, for nine long slow breaths.
Move your hands down so the tips of your fingers can feel your ribs and the length of your fingers feel the soft underswell of the breast, and do the spiralling massage for eighteen breaths.
Move your fingers down to the edge of your ribs and spiral-massage for twenty-seven breaths.
Then move from there to midway between ribs and navel, and massage for thirty-six breaths.
Bring both hands together just below the navel, and gently circulate the skin over the flesh for forty-five breaths.
Then midway between navel and pubic bone and massage for fifty-four.
And then just above the pubic bone for sixty-three.
Massage the sex for seventy-two.
Finally, then perineum, between anus and genitals, for eighty-one.
Then rest and lie side by side, still not touching.
Tip 4 Prepare Each Other
Sit behind your partner, front touching back, partner’s legs inside yours.
Repeat the whole of the Nine Flowers massage, but this time with you doing the spiral massage on lover’s points, slowly and gently moving your finger-tips in a circular caress, moving the skin over the flesh, gently, softly, rubbing, for the same number of breaths as when you massaged yourself.
Move downwards from breasts to just below, then to the edge of the ribs, then midway between ribs and navel.
Below the navel, use both your hands together on each point: just below navel, midway between navel and pubic bone, just above pubic bone, then sex, then perineum between genitals and anus.
Rest for a while and change places. Guide your partner to move and massage with sensitivity down your front in the same way.
Rest again, lying down with your sides touching. Rest is therapy. Rest renews energy.
Tip 5 Building Arousal
Sitting back-to-back, feeling your buttocks touching, you each place one hand on your heart and the other on your sex and begin gently swaying back and forth, very slowly, not too far, and timing it with your breath.
Once you are into a nice easy rhythm you each begin massaging your breasts and your sex.
As arousal builds you may find swaying turns into rocking and rocking becomes thrusting. The art here is to keep your rhythm in harmony.
Whichever of you feels yourself starting to get carried away, slow down until the other catches up.
Slow down by taking long deep breaths, and changing from to-and-fro rocking to a circular movement, rotating your waists in time together.
When approaching the peak, slow down before your point of no return – this takes practice, so until you have had the practice slow down sooner rather than later.
Or just let the explosion happen and start again from the beginning next time.
Then lie and rest together a while.
To rest is always important: it is like the space between each breath, between each heart-beat, between each thought, the space in which that moment is alive.
Tip 6 Intensifying Arousal
Sit facing each other, cross-legged if comfortable otherwise in chairs, with knees touching.
Begin with one hand on your heart, the other on your sex, and sway back and forth, looking into each other’s eyes.
Lean back on the in-breath, forward on the out.
Time your breath, so you breathe in as partner breathes out.
In this way, you sway forward as partner sways back and vice versa.
Once you are moving in harmony, begin to massage your breasts and sex.
As arousal intensifies, swaying turns into rocking and rocking becomes thrusting.
Each shift your gaze from the eyes to your partner’s sex, watching each other’s hands vibrating in the sex-massage.
Each move your other hand from your heart to grasp your partner’s shoulder.
Approaching the peak, slow down, keep in harmony together, feel the arousal come and go in waves.
Slow the thrusting into rocking and the rocking into swaying.
Slow into stillness.
Tip 7 The Tantric Connection
Woman moves on to man’s lap. Man does not have to be erect to start. As you move together through the tantric connection penetration happens.
Place the hands:
His right hand on Her back, between Her shoulder-blades;
His left hand supporting Her at the sacrum. His middle finger can connect in the groove above her anus - how far up or down that groove is a matter for choice.
Her left hand goes between His shoulder-blades, Her right on His sacrum.
It will make for a wonderful energy-connection if the centres of your palms touch the spine between the should-blades.
In this position (yab-yum, or maithuna, in the tantric classics) his pubic bone fits just below hers for maximum stimulation.
Energy-centres or chakras are aligned: navel, solar plexus and heart.
Gaze into each other’s left eye, and seal your lips together.
Breathe each other’s breath as you sway back and forth, and when you can do that OK, connect your tongues.
In this way you are connected at every level, body, mind and soul.
Let the swaying turn to rocking and the rocking to thrusting.
Thrust towards climax.
Tip 8 Climax
As climax approaches, both close your eyes and move your upper hand from between the shoulders to the base of the skull, the Jade Pillow,
If you want to slow down the process, slow thrusting to swaying, disconnect your mouths and breathe the outside air in long deep breaths.
After a short rest, staying in position with your bodies connected, you can resume and repeat for as often as you like.
When ready, continue on to orgasm.
As the lightning-bolt contractions begin to shudder through the very core of your being,
clench your teeth and your perineum and
bring the sensation in all its intensity right up to the top of your head,
to a point between your skull and scalp,
and hold your breath,
and hold the orgasm in your crown.
Imagine a sunburst of light,
and sit in that light,
and bathe in that light,
and let that light flood your being.
Let go your mind.
Be still.
Tip 9 Withdrawal
Let the light flow down like liquid sunshine,
Over your skin,
Under your skin,
And down through your centre
Let it rest there, pulsing.
Stay in yab yum until you are both back in the mundane dimension, heart-beat and breath-rate back to normal.
Gaze into each other’s right eye.
Stroking each other about the face and neck and shoulders, begin a slow, tender disconnection.
Lower your hands to your partner’s sides.
Linger a few moments before gently separating
and resume sitting facing each other.
Tip 10 Farewell
In the Taoist philosophy all human sex is sacred in the union of Yang, the force of Heaven, with Yin, the power of Earth.
As you have just honoured the union of Yin and Yang, now with grace and care you honour the separation and return to the mundane.
As you sit facing each other, have your knees touching as when you began.
Place your right hand palm up on your partner’s left knee,
and your right hand palm down on your partner’s left hand.
Feel the connection between you.
Allow it to fade.
Gently let go the physical connection and draw a little way apart.
Sit in your own space for a while, eyes closed
Aware of every sensation in every cell of your being.
Savour this moment and thank Great Spirit of the Tao and Mother Earth, who gave us pleasure as a key to open the gate to Bliss, on the path to Ecstasy.
When ready, open your eyes and thank each other for what you have shared,
Until you join again.
LEARN MORE
Tips 1 to 4 are taken from the book 'A Touch of Sex: Taoist Foreplay, Shiatsu Secrets for Love' by Mantak Chia and Kris Deva North.
You can hear Tips 4 to 8 described in the Audio CD Taoist Tantra, and you can see all ten Tips in action in the DVD Tao of Tantra 1 Connecting Spirit available from our Taoist Catalog
Ancient Taoists believed that to understand the business of Life you need to examine the business of where Life starts and where Life ends…the business of the bedchamber. Combining the study of sex with medicine they discovered certain pressure-points stimulate and sustain sexual desire.
Taoist Tantra can help you can become a more effective Lover. You can please your partner and please yourself. The act itself is natural. You know what to do. It is the moments leading up to the act which make it more or less pleasurable. Using the secrets of these points makes for longer and more pleasurable sexual encounters. Peak moments can be prolonged beyond bliss, into ecstasy.
Like cooking a Chinese meal, preparation is the key.
Tip 1 Prepare your space
Set things out to please all the senses, dress in loose light clothing, soft fabrics of red, pink and purple: sarongs don’t get in the way, they let you reach all the love-points, and come off easily.
Candlelight and soft music yes, phones no: off or silent, rings on mute.
Fragrances of roses, musk and ylang ylang.
Aphrodisiac titbits to tantalise taste buds:
Chocolate, Strawberries and Bananas or Cucumbers dipped in Clove Honey, Mangos, Peaches, Plums and Cherries.
Try using each other as a plate.
If you like salads: celery, mushrooms, red peppers, spinach, tomatoes and watercress.
And to drink? Try Mead, a mildly alcoholic bevvy made from honey. In Anglo-Saxon England newly-weds retired for a moon-month to a flowery bower to live on nothing but Love and Mead: thus the word “honeymoon” – honag monath.
Make your bower beautiful, enticing, a place for pleasure.
Feng shui your love-life: Make space around your love-nest, the mat on which you will create your palms of pleasure.
If using a bed, let it be firm: flaccididity is no help inside or out.
Have a picture of your beloved in the south-west corner and a green plant in the East.
Tip 2 Prepare your Partner
Dedicate your practice to Great Spirit of the Tao and Mother Earth, who gave us pleasure as a key to open the gate to Bliss, on the path to Ecstasy.
Start with a look, a gaze in each other’s eyes. Mind follows Eye and Hand follows Mind.
Your body is a landscape of hills and valleys, woodland glades,
caves of delight, pastures of pleasure, stirred by breezes of bliss,
fed by rivers of desire, watered by clouds and rain of ecstasy.
Nature has gifted us with eyes to see these wonders,
ears to hear the sounds of love,
noses to scent the fragrance of passion,
tongues to taste the fruits of desire,
lips to kiss,
and hands to touch.
Prepare your Lover by first lightly tapping or patting up and down the body. Tapping wakes up the nerves.
How do you like to be woken up?
Tap very gently on softer areas such as the belly and face, and not at all on breasts and genitals. Ask your Lover how it feels: would they like a drum solo in some places - such as the sacrum and shoulder-blades, or would they prefer tippy-toe tap?
And when you have tapped and rubbed, its time to tease: long languorous strokes the length of the whole body, brushing close by your lover’s sex, using your hands to hint at what’s ahead.
Tip 3 Prepare your Self
Allow your Lover to watch and to copy as you massage yourself in a very specific way, holding each other’s gaze the whole time.
Sit facing each other, not touching, cross-legged if comfortable or in chairs if not.
Begin the self-massage of the Nine Flowers by placing the tips of your fingers on your nipples and gently moving the skin over the flesh in a spiralling movement, for nine long slow breaths.
Move your hands down so the tips of your fingers can feel your ribs and the length of your fingers feel the soft underswell of the breast, and do the spiralling massage for eighteen breaths.
Move your fingers down to the edge of your ribs and spiral-massage for twenty-seven breaths.
Then move from there to midway between ribs and navel, and massage for thirty-six breaths.
Bring both hands together just below the navel, and gently circulate the skin over the flesh for forty-five breaths.
Then midway between navel and pubic bone and massage for fifty-four.
And then just above the pubic bone for sixty-three.
Massage the sex for seventy-two.
Finally, then perineum, between anus and genitals, for eighty-one.
Then rest and lie side by side, still not touching.
Tip 4 Prepare Each Other
Sit behind your partner, front touching back, partner’s legs inside yours.
Repeat the whole of the Nine Flowers massage, but this time with you doing the spiral massage on lover’s points, slowly and gently moving your finger-tips in a circular caress, moving the skin over the flesh, gently, softly, rubbing, for the same number of breaths as when you massaged yourself.
Move downwards from breasts to just below, then to the edge of the ribs, then midway between ribs and navel.
Below the navel, use both your hands together on each point: just below navel, midway between navel and pubic bone, just above pubic bone, then sex, then perineum between genitals and anus.
Rest for a while and change places. Guide your partner to move and massage with sensitivity down your front in the same way.
Rest again, lying down with your sides touching. Rest is therapy. Rest renews energy.
Tip 5 Building Arousal
Sitting back-to-back, feeling your buttocks touching, you each place one hand on your heart and the other on your sex and begin gently swaying back and forth, very slowly, not too far, and timing it with your breath.
Once you are into a nice easy rhythm you each begin massaging your breasts and your sex.
As arousal builds you may find swaying turns into rocking and rocking becomes thrusting. The art here is to keep your rhythm in harmony.
Whichever of you feels yourself starting to get carried away, slow down until the other catches up.
Slow down by taking long deep breaths, and changing from to-and-fro rocking to a circular movement, rotating your waists in time together.
When approaching the peak, slow down before your point of no return – this takes practice, so until you have had the practice slow down sooner rather than later.
Or just let the explosion happen and start again from the beginning next time.
Then lie and rest together a while.
To rest is always important: it is like the space between each breath, between each heart-beat, between each thought, the space in which that moment is alive.
Tip 6 Intensifying Arousal
Sit facing each other, cross-legged if comfortable otherwise in chairs, with knees touching.
Begin with one hand on your heart, the other on your sex, and sway back and forth, looking into each other’s eyes.
Lean back on the in-breath, forward on the out.
Time your breath, so you breathe in as partner breathes out.
In this way, you sway forward as partner sways back and vice versa.
Once you are moving in harmony, begin to massage your breasts and sex.
As arousal intensifies, swaying turns into rocking and rocking becomes thrusting.
Each shift your gaze from the eyes to your partner’s sex, watching each other’s hands vibrating in the sex-massage.
Each move your other hand from your heart to grasp your partner’s shoulder.
Approaching the peak, slow down, keep in harmony together, feel the arousal come and go in waves.
Slow the thrusting into rocking and the rocking into swaying.
Slow into stillness.
Tip 7 The Tantric Connection
Woman moves on to man’s lap. Man does not have to be erect to start. As you move together through the tantric connection penetration happens.
Place the hands:
His right hand on Her back, between Her shoulder-blades;
His left hand supporting Her at the sacrum. His middle finger can connect in the groove above her anus - how far up or down that groove is a matter for choice.
Her left hand goes between His shoulder-blades, Her right on His sacrum.
It will make for a wonderful energy-connection if the centres of your palms touch the spine between the should-blades.
In this position (yab-yum, or maithuna, in the tantric classics) his pubic bone fits just below hers for maximum stimulation.
Energy-centres or chakras are aligned: navel, solar plexus and heart.
Gaze into each other’s left eye, and seal your lips together.
Breathe each other’s breath as you sway back and forth, and when you can do that OK, connect your tongues.
In this way you are connected at every level, body, mind and soul.
Let the swaying turn to rocking and the rocking to thrusting.
Thrust towards climax.
Tip 8 Climax
As climax approaches, both close your eyes and move your upper hand from between the shoulders to the base of the skull, the Jade Pillow,
If you want to slow down the process, slow thrusting to swaying, disconnect your mouths and breathe the outside air in long deep breaths.
After a short rest, staying in position with your bodies connected, you can resume and repeat for as often as you like.
When ready, continue on to orgasm.
As the lightning-bolt contractions begin to shudder through the very core of your being,
clench your teeth and your perineum and
bring the sensation in all its intensity right up to the top of your head,
to a point between your skull and scalp,
and hold your breath,
and hold the orgasm in your crown.
Imagine a sunburst of light,
and sit in that light,
and bathe in that light,
and let that light flood your being.
Let go your mind.
Be still.
Tip 9 Withdrawal
Let the light flow down like liquid sunshine,
Over your skin,
Under your skin,
And down through your centre
Let it rest there, pulsing.
Stay in yab yum until you are both back in the mundane dimension, heart-beat and breath-rate back to normal.
Gaze into each other’s right eye.
Stroking each other about the face and neck and shoulders, begin a slow, tender disconnection.
Lower your hands to your partner’s sides.
Linger a few moments before gently separating
and resume sitting facing each other.
Tip 10 Farewell
In the Taoist philosophy all human sex is sacred in the union of Yang, the force of Heaven, with Yin, the power of Earth.
As you have just honoured the union of Yin and Yang, now with grace and care you honour the separation and return to the mundane.
As you sit facing each other, have your knees touching as when you began.
Place your right hand palm up on your partner’s left knee,
and your right hand palm down on your partner’s left hand.
Feel the connection between you.
Allow it to fade.
Gently let go the physical connection and draw a little way apart.
Sit in your own space for a while, eyes closed
Aware of every sensation in every cell of your being.
Savour this moment and thank Great Spirit of the Tao and Mother Earth, who gave us pleasure as a key to open the gate to Bliss, on the path to Ecstasy.
When ready, open your eyes and thank each other for what you have shared,
Until you join again.
LEARN MORE
Tips 1 to 4 are taken from the book 'A Touch of Sex: Taoist Foreplay, Shiatsu Secrets for Love' by Mantak Chia and Kris Deva North.
You can hear Tips 4 to 8 described in the Audio CD Taoist Tantra, and you can see all ten Tips in action in the DVD Tao of Tantra 1 Connecting Spirit available from our Taoist Catalog
posted by Kris Deva North at 6:14 PM
